Life of Liz

Have Men been SUBMISSIVE to Women?

In 1950's wife of Today, Authentic Life, In the Beginning, Red Pill on December 2, 2012 at 9:36 am

I have a lot of rambling thoughts; please bear with me as I try to write a cohesive post.  I am going to use Henry as my reference point, but to a large degree ‘Henry’ could be replaced with the name of any man – or ‘Men in general’.  Likewise, when I reference myself – you can easily replace your name – or “Women in general”. This post was easier for me to write in the 3rd person.

Henry is reasonable.  He is not quick to react and does not act in haste.  He is not prone to display his emotions during a heated debate.  Adjectives used to describe him are logical, practical and level headed.

Liz is volatile.  She likes to get things done quickly and has often jumped in before examining all the mitigating factors.  She is emotional.  Adjectives used to describe her are impulsive, unpredictable and unstable. 

Every time ‘Henry’ is referenced think of the above and do likewise for ‘Liz’ references.

For the first 19 years of their marriage, Liz was the de facto leader of their union.  Liz won her position by exploiting Henry; by using the essence of his Manhood against him.  Translation …  She flipped his strengths and turned them into weaknesses.  Take Henry’s nature to not act hastily.  Liz was able to convince Henry his thoughtful nature was a fault.  She used convincing arguments to support her POV, the loudest being “you’re not leading us the way I think it should be done” translation “you’re not a man”.  She countered Henry’s logical and level headedness with unpredictable and emotion laden outburst.  Henry resented Liz and over the course of 19 years many power struggles ensued.  Being an alpha male by nature – Henry won a majority of the battles.  And then Liz played her trump card.   She countered with unrelenting determination every effort by Henry to live in a logical, practical environment which in turned forced him, in an effort to save himself, to seemingly SUBMIT to her de facto leadership.

Synonyms for the word Submit:   abide, accede, acknowledge, acquiesce, agree, appease, concede, defer, give in, give way, go with the flow, grin and bear it, humor, indulge, kowtow, lay down arms, obey, put up with, quit, relent, relinquish, resign oneself, stoop, succumb, surrender, throw in the towel, toe the line, tolerate, truckle, withstand, yield

Still, Liz was not satisfied.  She wasn’t leading Henry; he had simply removed himself (not physically, but definitely emotionally) from her 19 year reign of terror.

And then it happened.  Either through Divine intervention or basic human survival Liz was able to catch a glimpse of what she had spent 19 years creating.   She saw a contentious marriage to a withdrawn and resentful man.  She saw her 6 daughters grow up as good students (or maybe she was a very resourceful teacher?) already mimicking her Total Domination Relationship Management techniques in their relationships.  Liz knew she was unfulfilled as a wife and mother.

I wish I could write that things immediately ‘fixed’ themselves.  They did not because it takes more than a realization to bring about permanent change.  Permanent change requires time and patience.  Please re-read the words used to describe Henry, which is pretty incriminating for Liz.

Definition of Submission: the action of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another.  Humility, compliance.

I am ending with the definition of Submission because without Liz accepting her role within the marriage it is impossible for Henry to be the leader he is called to be.  This is not to imply his leadership is dependent upon her submission, but rather a belief that a logical person will naturally shy away from an unpredictable situation.

Men have the innate qualities to lead women if we believe men are logical, practical and level headed.  Today, Liz is able to see Henry for who is has been all along.   And that is where we end out story for today.

Advertisements
  1. Thank you for this! I have been reading about submitting to my husband and am totally seeing the merit in it. I have discovered that the reasons I’m so stressed out and angry all the time is because I am trying to lead the family and that is not only something I’m not capable of doing but I don’t want to do it either. I have talked to my husband about changing our dynamic and he even admitted to me that he is relieved to hear my change of heart.

  2. Liz,
    Not sure if this will double post. Working from my phone.
    Thank you for visiting my site. After reading your post on submission, I decided to upload an excerpt from my book for folks to read. There is a specific section on marital love and submission, called “Love and Game.” Maybe there is something in it that you find helpful.

  3. Once again I seem to be the first to comment. I do love your posts because they help to keep me calm! I’m glad you like the way I write. I write exactly the way I talk. (If you think I am writing too much, just say, but to me, it is just like chatting to a friend!)

    At the moment I am trying to keep a bit apart from the word ‘submissive’, because I have a funny sort of feeling that I could have been pretty much submissive for most of my married life. Yet I don’t feel submissive! I can mutter under my breath as easily as any woman. And I often don’t back down easily either. Yet I have always referred to my husband as a Male Chauvanist. And he has always been very happy to be thought of as such! You see, he has always had control, complete control, of all our family, including me. It’s just that it’s only now that I’m openly admitting to it.

    I think that with me, all the resistance has always been ‘token’. I have always deferred to him in the end. I have no earthly idea why. I’m a very strong minded woman. A matriarchal type personna. But he has always been supremely good at making final decisions and coping with any consequences. His Alpha role even extends to his mother and his sister. Everyone seeks his advice about everything and he instructs them accordingly.

    There were times when we were younger when I sometimes resented this. But I soon learned that he was so expert at dealing with life’s problems that I would have been stupid to go up against him.

    Now believe me, I am no paragon. Far from it. My very worst fault is to nag him when driving. He hates it and I am already finding this an issue of epic proportions. And I know that ‘adjustment’ will loom on the horizon sooner rather than later. (Suffice it to say, that in our youth we belonged to a motor club and drove very fast cars quite competitively. Mine was a mini cooper s, and I did lots of rally driving.) I now find that whoever I sit next to in a car I am often guilty of putting my foot through the floor and drawing in my breath in reaction to their driving. I know – it’s absolutely horrid! We have more rows about this than any other thing!

    I think, that in order to move forward, you need to recognise your shortcomings. Just think how far ahead of me you are! You are going brilliantly, whilst I have been so complacent that I’m the one who needs ‘spanking into shape’! And I am sure I will be.

    You say that you are volatile, emotional and that you like to get things done quickly. That’s me to a ‘T’. And it means I often try to take over. So you see, I have several other faults! It’s good to know there’s two of us then Liz. And from what I have seen and heard from the others in these blogs – there are many more just like us.

    I have a sign propped up on the windowsill above my desk – “Therapy is expensive – popping bubble wrap is cheap.” I’ll leave you with this thought! Hugs, Ami

    • bubble wrap is pretty cheap … lol!
      And that is one of the reason I first started writing (to meet other like minded people).
      and As long as I remind myself that it’s a journey and not a race then I am able to let my revelations unfold at their own pace.
      And … competitive driver? hmm, that sounds exhilarating! xox~Liz

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Paradigm Shift

The majestic movement from fantasy to reality

motivationalhierarchy

Refusing to be a Victim

Affirmations of God

Finding the treasures of hope, promise and purpose in the Word of God. Calling each of us to live from who we were created to be.

candid faith

an honest perspective of following Christ and living life

vulture of critique

always pretentious, sententious, contentious, tendentious, and dissentious; sometimes conscientious; seldom abstentious; never licentious

Relationship Realities

rediscovering what is authentic & what works

Upward Social Media

Social Media Marketing

EmotionalBitch

My Bitchy Thoughts

Dalrock

Thoughts from a happily married father on a post feminist world.

Random Xpat Rantings

Contemplative dominance for the modern man

Free Northerner

Iron Sharpens Iron

On the Rock

Verus Conditio

Haley's Halo

Giving the manosphere a friendly Christian sidehug since 2010

D A R L I N G

The musings and observations of a 30 year-old woman, fighting for her femininity in an overtly feminist society.

Grey Lagoons

Seven lugs good, two lugs... uh... also good.

JudgyBitch

The radical notion that women are adults

There Is No Game

It is not the game that changes, it is only yourself.

The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Deti Nation

A Collection of Noteworthy Comments by Deti

Adventures in Red Pill Wifery

A First Officer's Log

Boys and Young Men: Attention Must Be Paid

promoting achievement among boys and young men

Average Married Dad

Red Pill Dude Improving Self, Marriage, Finances and Parenting

%d bloggers like this: