Life of Liz

“a Sighting of the Shrew”

In In the Beginning on January 27, 2013 at 8:11 am

Bossy wife 13Henry investigated accepting a new job last week for all the typical reasons (advancement, pay, benefits, etc).  The only negative was the location – about 40 minutes from home, whereas he currently works 10 minutes away.  Well to make a long story short, his current employer matched the new offer (at least financially) which set off an entire week of weighing the pros and cons of each offer. Here are some things that I learned:

  • Henry is not as ‘polite’ as me!  Let me explain.  During the process of deciding between offer 1 and offer 2 – both companies had to wait for his decision.  Henry was comfortable making them wait.  This was hard for me because, well it seemed rude to make someone wait and also what if they changed their mind while they were waiting or what if they were offended b/c he made them wait??  Difference one between me and H…he has the b*lls to play chicken.
  • Both offers were good yet Henry negotiated for more!  No – you don’t ask for more than what was offered!
  • I wanted a decision and I wanted to move on and I didn’t want to weigh and re-weigh the pros and cons AGAIN.  2nd Difference between us … Henry is patient and willing to thoroughly examine a situation from all angles so he can be 100% comfortable with the decision.  Me, not so much, but then again – I don’t support 9 people.  Is it because I could more easily reach a decision and then shrug off the ramifications of a poor choice?
  •  I still have an involuntary knee-jerk reaction to proclaim any version of “man up”!   I thought that had fallen away in my new enlightenment, but it was so very easy to slip backward and it took considerable effort to not fall!  Ok, maybe I slipped a little…
  • I took Henry’s thoroughness as a sign of weakness and I pounced!  For a brief moment the Shrew was baack!!

talkIn the end he asked the new company for more … and they said yes; His last day was Friday and next week he starts a new chapter, at a new company.  Somewhere in the middle I saw how far we’ve come and how much further I have to go!

  1. Loved this post! I guess you could market your reactions to Henry as being thoughtful enough to keep him humble?! JK! When D buys a car or a house, I (am told to) want to leave the room bc I’m so uncomfortable with his ‘confident negotiations’. I’m way back on sheepishly apologizing for my fly away hair or something equally ridiculous! Where do they sell the ‘graceful recipient of a spanking’ spray? Maybe it will work on my hair!

    • I’ve always been comfortable in negotiations until they can directly affect me! And then I become polite to a fault and have zero ability to force the issue. Henry is extremely conservative in 90% of our business affairs — that last 10% is usually when a hard line negotiation is needed, i.e. a job offer. This is not the first time he’s pushed back and secured a better deal. It doesn’t always come out in his favor though and the times it hasn’t ended up leading to a better oppty in the future. He has a very strong sense of seeing a closed door as a better door waiting to open.

  2. That took some courage on his part, Way to go Henry!

    • Hi Sis,
      Henry is an odd mix -his job requires him to be extremely through and conservative which is how he is 90% of the time. The only times I’ve seen him push back (and typically be successful) is after thoughtful consideration of the risk/rewards. I am able to trust him here – but sometimes the innate manliness of pushing back is too much for me – I often think men are being rude to one another when they are just being men. lol!

  3. Oh Liz! I could have written this! My husband is so much more business savvy than I. and I have been know to get panicky and tell him what to do. He can shush me quite easily now though. 😉
    I love your cartoons, and I suspect that you are not even a smidgeon like that woman, but I see your point.
    I know what H would say to your husband, and no doubt he knows it full well- now he’s got to prove he’s worth his salt!
    Really, 40 min is not too bad. I get that it’s way more than 10min though.
    I wish him the best of luck at his new company and his new job. Best of luck to you too, as he will no doubt be *very busy* proving his worth! 🙂

  4. Good luck to Henry on his new job. And congrats to you for knowing that you can do better.

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