Life of Liz

Posts Tagged ‘Wisdom’

“pretty. . .

In Authentic Life, Out of the Comfort Zone, Wisdom on April 23, 2013 at 9:22 am


When I first heard Katie Makkai’s slam poetry piece ‘Pretty’ (I am not posting it here – you can easily google it) I was conflicted.  But then … no I’m actually not.

I can agree that Katie Makkai’s piece succeeds in showing her passion about a topic.  I’ll give her points for soliciting an emotional response from her audience, which is what slam poetry is supposed to do.  But I disagree with her premise and here is why.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with teaching my daughters how to apply makeup and style their hair, nor do I think there is anything wrong in helping them choose clothing that is flattering to their bodies.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with encouraging them to maintain their bodies.  I do the same for myself, because as a woman I like to feel pretty.  There, I said it.  I like to feel pretty and I don’t think there is anything wrong with letting (encouraging!) my daughters to feel pretty.  Isn’t feeling pretty one of the perks of our sex?

Is there more to it?  Of course!  And it’s my job to make sure they understand that while it may be the outward that first attracts a man’s attention, it will be what she has to share on the inside that will hold his attention. mom

A mother’s job is to show our daughters how to be a beautifullydecorated gift that is filled with smiles, laughter and happiness inside.  And coincidentally, my daughters have never asked “when I grow up, will I be pretty?” because they’ve been called pretty since birth.

Growing up I never once heard my mom mention her weight or try out a new diet.  We ate a variety of food and had a typically stocked pantry that often included Twinkies or a bag of chips.  I remember the day distinctly when I first compared myself to a magazine photo.  I was a senior in high school.  My bestie at the time made the comment “what I wouldn’t give to have her flat stomach” or some similar version in reference to the model.  Huh?  I tell you the truth, it had never occurred to me to compare myself to the advertisement.  My mom, who was comfortable with her own body, was a stronger influence on my own self image than the borage of messages that Katie Makkai’s poem’s hurls at the listener. Let me repeat, my body image was largely shaped by my mother.


I wonder how Katie Makkai’s daughter is going to feel someday

when all the other little girls are allowed to experience   pretty pretty princess parties

but she is not allowed to attend.  Will her mother’s poem actually solicit

a reverse affect for her daughter?  Instead of saying

“you are more than this one word” will her daughter instead believe “she must really think

I am ugly since she won’t even let me attempt to be pretty”.

And just to be clear, I believe the most probable path to happiness and true fulfillment is for my daughters to be wives and mothers.  To accomplish that task they will need to do the following:

  1. Attract the attention of a man
  2. Have something nice to say
  3. The rest is up to them!                    cute

Sorry Miss Makkai- it’s an old saying,

but you have to get your foot in the door before you can seal the deal! 

And while I too hope my daughters will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, and pretty amazing…

they will also go on to be pretty fulfilled as a wives and mothers…with pretty kids, by the way.


Out with the OLD in with the NEW

In Authentic Life, Out of the Comfort Zone, Submission ... Oh My!, The Countdown begins on January 1, 2013 at 9:27 am

Things I learned in 2012 


  • Wooden spoons – not just for cooking!
  • Red Pill – not a decongestant!
  • Manosphere – don’t believe everything you BELIEVE!
  • 90 – Is the new 60 (proof – GRANDMA!)
  • De-Escalation warfare – or ways I’ve learned to not incite my volatile 17 year old daughter during an argument.  Thanks Dr. Phil for drilling into my head “ask yourself, ‘what is their payout’ cause there is always a payout”dr phil
  • Medicare is very confusing and has a lot of odd options – how Grandma managed to have coverage for the past 20 years is a miracle!

Goals for 2013

  • GOD:

*Set aside time everyday to hear God’s voice – quiet, me time.  The most logical time would be getting up 30 minutes early.

*Do the homework required for my weekly Women’s group Bible Study.

*Pray for wisdom for Henry to lead our family.


Work out 2-3 times a week, every week.  I currently do not work out in any fashion and have been blessed with very good genes.  BUT – with the additional stress of Grandma and staring down 50 in >5 years the time is NOW.  Henry’s company provides a free health club, the youngest is in kindergarten until 11:45, so there is really NO reason this can’t happen.  Feel free to motivate, harass and or shame as desired J


My submission – sometimes it feels like 2 steps forward, one step back in my ability to be the wife and ‘helpmate’ I desire to be.  I’d like the upcoming year to see me more aware of my decisions and become more consistent in my actions, words and reactions to Henry.


*Spend more time outside with my youngest after kinder pick up – this includes setting up play dates.  Note, I was very active when my oldest were young – but I now suffer from a ‘been there, done that’ mentality that needs to change!

*Take the youngest to the zoo, the aquarium, local working farm, China Town and ride the ferry to the Wharf and the beach.  Actively engage while enjoying these events and try to ‘see’ through their eyes. Surely I can commit to 6 activities over a 12 month period, right?

*Create a “me and mommy” reoccurring DATE with my 5th daughter

*Attend a weekend retreat with my 17 year old daughter

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